Fear of being alone and having no one to talk to is something we all experience. On the one hand, there are those who consciously choose to be single and who have unresolved issues with themselves.
On the other hand, there are those who are desperate to find love but can't seem to succeed. However, there is one thing that cannot be denied: no one is destined to be alone, nor is anyone destined to find love.
We are born alone, and we will spend most of our lives alone, never being loved or understood by another person in the way that we secretly hope we will be.
There are a lot of people who love to romanticize relationships but end up being severely let down by them.
This romanticization is the result of idealizing people, relationships, and marriages without ever really realizing that pain and forgiveness are the primary drivers of love, not passion and adoration.
In order to truly love and experience what it is like to be loved, it is necessary to acknowledge that human nature is imperfect and that love requires the acceptance of certain limitations.
Accepting that people and our relationships can never be a perfect place but are full of problems and challenges to overcome is a good place to start. Just as no person is perfect, neither are relationships.
When we consider the numerous occasions on which we have rejected someone because they weren't perfect, were not attractive enough, or were not human enough, we realize that love can never come from greed or an unwillingness to fight.
Many of us end up being alone in the end because we always hoped that love would come to us in some way, or because our relationships weren't as ideal as the relationships that others have.
In today's article, we are going to discuss the things that can affect the way you perceive and receive love.
The things that prevent you from finding love and having a fulfilling relationship that will gradually teach you the fundamentals of compassion are the things that are keeping you from finding love.
1. Your envy others and deny that your relationships are flawed
Most people almost never actually discuss the problematic aspects of their lives, let alone the issues that arise in their relationships.
Because of this, we have an all too common tendency to believe that the romantic relationships of others are flawless and that their partners are more considerate and caring than the people we are with.
When we're not in a relationship and our friends tell us about the wonderful life they have with their significant other, we tend to gloss over the aspects of their relationship that we find annoying or unappealing.
You will never find out that the nice dinner that your best friend went to was paid for by her because her partner forgot his wallet, or that your friend's girlfriend, who he says is so perfect, cheated on him with his best friend.
Some people simply cannot accept the fact that unfortunate things happen to everyone and that no one is truly in a relationship that makes them completely happy all of the time.
That doesn't mean there aren't any people out there who have a good relationship; it's just that a lot of healthy relationships have problems and challenges that come to light once the two partners are alone.
The beginning of each relationship is always beautiful and exciting. How does one deal with a relationship that is less passionate, charged, and quiet?
To accomplish this, you must first come to terms with the fact that you shouldn't freak out when the first rush of love fades and decide that this means a change of feelings.
Instead, you should accept it as normal and come to the understanding that love is not a feeling that is constantly intense but rather a feeling that is calm and provides us with peace.
If we continue to believe that our love is fading away and that other people have something better than us, then we run the risk of losing someone very special because we are clinging to a belief in something that isn't even real.
Remember that even though the beginning of everything is very beautiful, like other people's lives, if you haven't lived it yourself, the stage when you have really gotten to know the other person and still find them lovable in every way is even better and enough.
2. You expect your partner and your relationship to be what you envisioned
There are certain people who are known to have extremely high standards in relationships. Having said that, it is acceptable to have preferences; however, there are times when we don't really get a say in who we end up in a romantic relationship with.
We can't model their essence, their appearance, or the way they love, and we shouldn't be able to. People have a tendency to place unreasonable expectations on others' behavior, which is one reason why they often remain lonely and drive away potential partners.
As a consequence, many people end up being lonely and resentful for a long time until they meet somebody who can fulfill their wildest dreams.
But when you stop to think about it, not everyone is lucky enough to find someone who can meet our expectations, and some people may endure a great deal of pain as a result.
Some people will never have the good luck to find what they're looking for, and eventually, people will have to face the fact that the person they're dating is a flawed human being.
Nobody is perfect, and it is extremely unlikely that you will ever find someone who will meet all of your needs and gratify all of your desires.
It is therefore important to realize that the ideal relationship for you does not necessarily have to be the same as the ideal relationship that you have pictured in your head.
Having healthy standards and refusing to settle for less than you believe you deserve are both admirable qualities. You will, one day, meet someone who will not be everything you imagined but will be the person who deserves your love.
You may also meet someone who is everything you have ever wanted and imagined, but in the end, that's just luck.
3. You tend to repeat unhealthy patterns and feel unworthy of love
Your low self-esteem and continued refusal to learn from your mistakes contribute to the reason why you are still unable to find a partner.
It doesn't mean you're unlovable or don't deserve love if you've had bad experiences in previous relationships; rather, it means you should know better how to behave in future relationships.
If you have all this knowledge but continue to make the same mistakes over and over again, then you need to take full responsibility for your actions and stop blaming others.
As a result of all the bad aspects that have been revealed by your previous relationships, you should finally be able to see through them.
Not responding to things that have previously caused you distress is undeniable evidence that you have not learned anything yet.
As the saying goes, fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Trust is also essential to the development of any healthy relationship, and if you believe that you are not a good enough partner, you will drive people away.
You can't expect someone else to love you if you can't even love yourself, and your low self-esteem may be the root of more issues than you are aware of.
Since no one is perfect, you should never give yourself the impression that you are unlovable or that you are not beautiful enough.
In the end, it is not up to you to decide if you are deserving of love because the person who is meant to love you will love you regardless.
4. You have attachment or trust issues
Attachment issues are just one of the many reasons why people struggle to form relationships that are stable and healthy.
They are often worried that they will be left behind, or they have the impression that they can never fully trust their partner.
They create the conditions for their own failure in some way, even before they have actually met someone or before they've even experienced every aspect of that relationship.
When a person struggles with attachment issues, they will always find an excuse to end the relationship, no matter how much the other person wants it to work out.
A person who struggles with these issues would rather be alone and waste the potential of a relationship than show their true nature and concerns.
They would rather not be in a relationship at all than risk appearing possessive or suspicious of their partner.
Sadly, these people have a limited understanding of the fact that all people, at some point in the course of a romantic relationship, harbor the fear of being hurt by their partner, and that this is not necessarily a negative trait.
Love is allowing someone the power to break your heart while at the same time having faith that they will not.
Fear is one of the most powerful emotions, but it can never compare to the power of love if we want to love and be loved.
If you never commit to anyone, you will always have to face the unknown future alone.
Helen is the founder of Spiritualify.org where she covers all things astrology — from horoscopes and zodiac guides to retrograde alerts and moon updates. She also writes about other mystical lifestyle topics, such as numerology, crystal healing, tarot, dream interpretation, and more.
